When a desire gap is destroying your connection

You’re not broken or wrong for wanting more or less sex than your partner.

Your relationship can feel good again — with the right support.

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You are in the right place if you are:​

  • Tired of feeling broken, pressured or rejected
  • Exhausted by the pursuit-avoidance cycle
  • Hurt by not feeling seen
  • Worried your desire differences mean you're incompatible
  • Stuck up in your head or performing for your partner
  • Disappointed that hormones didn't help (that's very common)
  • Wondering if trauma or ADHD are affecting your libido

What most people don’t know about desire gaps:

  • They affect 80% of couples—you’re not alone

  • They tend to get worse over time

  • They are a leading cause of divorce

  • Most therapists lack training in desire issues

  • Medical providers can’t help with emotional and relational aspects

  • Hormone prescriptions rarely solve it 

With the right help:

  • The disconnection can be bridged

  • Your relationship can feel nourishing again

  • Both partners can feel safe, wanted, and understood

  • Even one partner making changes can shift the entire dynamic

That’s exactly why desire coaching exists.

That’s exactly why desire coaching exists. I’m Laura Jurgens, Ph.D. and I help individuals and couples close the desire gap using my Desire Gap Bridge™ Method—a somatic, body-based approach that creates connection without blame, pressure, or fixing either partner. This work is effective whether you’re the one who wants more sex, less sex, or you’re starting on your own. 

Laura Jurgens, PhD The Desire Gap Coach Master Certified Relationship and Sex Coach

The Desire Gap Bridge™ Method

Understand

Shift from blame and shame to real understanding—for both of you.

Feel

Learn to feel instead of overthink, and reconnect with your body.

Explore

Try new approaches together without pressure or performance.

Talk

Communicate about desire and boundaries with new ease and clarity.

This method has helped hundreds of individuals and couples transform desire differences into deeper intimacy. I also train therapists and coaches to work more effectively with desire and arousal issues.

And it works whether you’re the low-libido or high-libido partner, even if you start alone.

The important thing is for one of you to get started. 

Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame) and begin moving from frustration to connection today.

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Keep Exploring at Your Own Pace

🎤 Listen: The Desire Gap Podcast

Real conversations about libido mismatch and building great relationships
Listen Now →

📝 Read: The Desire Gap Blog

Practical tips from The Desire Gap Bridge™ Method

Read Now →

Here's What Becomes Possible When You Close the Desire Gap

"When I started with Laura, I did not have a sex drive and was feeling less like a woman each day. After just 3 months, my sex drive was increasing and communication between my husband and I was much better. My husband also started seeing Laura—our marriage is better because we found Laura."
Randi
Graduated Client
The tl;dr is that Laura is warm, caring, open, and, most importantly, very skilled. When I first started with her, the honesty and vulnerability required for this type of work were frankly outside my comfort zone, but that discomfort quickly dissolved and I started actively looking forward to & enjoying our sessions. She's not just helpful - with her guidance & encouragement I started breaking out of self-built mental traps and taking constructive action to attain long-held goals - but is genuinely a pleasure to be in a room with and talk to. Five stars 🙂
Toby
Graduated Client
"We weren't having sex at all when we started—just years of obligation, resentment, and distance. After working with Laura, I feel like we're embarking on a long, extended honeymoon. I'm 57, Brooke's 63, we've been married 12 years, and I feel more hopeful about our future than ever."
Christina
Graduated Client

Ready to start closing your desire gap?

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